My twenty-fifth birthday was not a great one. To begin with, I was feeling a little behind in the game and wasn’t quite ready to hit the mid-point of my twenties. I wasn’t married, engaged and I didn’t even have a boyfriend. I hadn’t graduated from college yet, in fact, I’d just changed my major and I was living by myself for the first time in several years.
Early in the morning the winter sky opened up and dropped two feet of snow on the unsuspecting world, which meant that my car got stuck as I was leaving for work at five o’clock in the morning– yes five o’clock. In the morning. On my birthday. I walked.
I worked in the circulation department at the newspaper and two feet of snow made it very difficult for, well, almost any customers to get their papers on time. My job was to answer the phone and offer explanation, apology and credit or redelivery to everyone who called. A lot of people called. And most of them weren’t very happy or understanding.
I ended up working later than normal. My wonderful co-workers who were out delivering papers in the snow brought me breakfast in a styrofoam box. That was nice, but my car was still stuck in the parking lot of my apartment building and all my friends were out of town visiting family for Christmas. There was only one person I knew of to call to help me get my car back in it’s spot. My ex-boyfriend.
We’d broken up about two months before and (of course) agreed to remain friends. He had a truck and I knew he was in town, so I called him. He came, but right after he picked me up he told me that, after granting me this favor, he couldn’t talk to me anymore because it upset his new girlfriend and she didn’t want him to. That was a blow. I don’t think anything could have made me feel more alone than that. It wasn’t like I wanted him back, but he’d been an important part of my life for a long time and I wasn’t quite ready for him to be no part of my life.
I cried. We got my car out of the way and I went inside and laid on my floor and cried some more. Then I picked myself up, walked down to the movie theater and watched Peter Pan by myself. I didn’t want to grow up, but here I was: suddenly solidly in my mid-twenties and as alone as I could be. It was a bad birthday.
Yesterday was my thirty-third birthday and it was great, but I have the slightest worry lurking inside me that I’m going to feel a little bit down when I hit thirty-five. I won’t feel alone this time. I have a lovely little family now, but the next few years are absolutely going to be a time of transition in my life. I want to feel like I’ve gotten something done when I hit the middle of my thirties. I’m not sure if I’ll know where I’m headed when I get to that point, but I’d like to at least feel a little like I belong where I am. So, I’ve made a list of thirty-five things I’d like to do before I turn thirty-five and, even if I don’t mark everything on my list off, it’ll feel good to get some of these things done.
Most of these things might seem simple and silly, but most of these are things I’ve been meaning to do for ages and ages and just haven’t gotten around to. Some of my things are pretty vague and that’s by design– I don’t want to feel bound to traveling a path I don’t want to be on. I reserve the right to edit and refine my list as needed. My goal isn’t just to get a bunch of stuff done; my goal is to feel good and I think that doing these things will make me feel good.
I’m including the list here, but over the next couple of months I’m going to explain each one of the things on my list in more detail and maybe report on my progress as well. Also, I should mention, I’m totally open to comments or suggestions.
So, without further ado:
35 Things To Do Before I’m 35
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Work on my memory project
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Read Proust
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Become a Trekkie
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Learn to tie many and varied knots
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Memorize poetry/monologues
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Practice make-up design
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Write letters-lots of them(Anybody want a letter? Let me know where to send it.)
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Take a real vacation with Mike(and only Mike)
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Design myself an autograph-worthy signature
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Learn sign language
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Learn Shorthand
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Re-learn cursive writing
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Learn Caligraphy
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Regular charitable giving– $ & time
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Better financial okay-edness
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Concerts/Plays/Opera/Art–two of each per year
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Heightened Political Involvement
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Themed parties
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Make the onion Sam drew for me into an honest-to-goodness, on-the-wall work of art
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Get a CSA share
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Garden
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Try rock climbing
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Get a job with a non-profit
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Read 24 new NEW books
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Get to/maintain a healthy weight
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Learn to sew well enough to costume a show
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Do costumes for a show
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Religiosity/Happy Habits
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Write a book
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Finish my second degree
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Attend a book club
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Learn more about my home state
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Travel my home state
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Familly History/photos/stories/videos(Past and Present)
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Get Married(or Not Married-but work for it and celebrate it)
